Why Knowing What Makes a Good Therapist is Important
Let’s say you have decided that you want to get a mental health professional to help with whatever it is that you’re experiencing. That’s an incredible and brave first step!
You can access a therapist through in-patient or out-patient programs depending on what works for you.
But going through therapy is hard work. You need to be vulnerable, honest, open, and emotional. This is hard for a lot of people.
So it’s really important to find someone that can create that kind of safe environment and relationship with you, so you can truly achieve the best results. Otherwise, your growth will be stunted and you’ll waste your time, money, and energy.
I have heard endless stories of people reaching out for help and being met with a mental health professional that is crap at their job. I have also sadly had that same experience.
So if you’re going in for your first few sessions with your new therapist, here are the guidelines to know what makes a good therapist.
Types of Therapists
First, we need to address what I mean by the word therapist. There are many mental health professionals out there in the field, so let’s go over them!
You may be meeting with a Counselor who has likely gotten some form of education in talk therapy, psychotherapy, and communicating. This is what typically is considered a “therapist”.
There are many types of counselors that may have a more specific type of therapy. For example, children’s therapists, trauma therapists, sex therapists, etc.
Alternatively, you may work with a Social Worker. They can work in various fields due to a diverse education that can be specialized to offer talk therapy, psychotherapy, CBT, and other therapies outlined earlier with the counselor therapy types.
Next is a Psychologist. They have a degree in psychology and are able to do all the things the previous folks could do, plus being able to officially diagnose you.
Last is a Psychiatrist, they can do all the things listed above, PLUS prescribe you medication. They are the only type of therapist that can do so. The rest cannot.
A Study About What Makes a Good Therapist
In one scientific study done to try and understand what it is about a therapist that leads their client to success or failure, a few things were measured about the therapist. Their:
- Competency (are they good at their job)
- Gender/sex
- Age
- Experience
- Training
- Therapist’s well-being
- Expectations about the client
The goal of the study was to identify which of these typically found qualities in therapists made the client successful or not in their therapy. The study’s results showed a potentially surprising take on what traits made their clients successful.
What Doesn’t Impact the Quality of a Therapist
Most would think all of these played an important role in how well a therapy session goes. However:
- Gender/sex
- Age
- Experience
- Training
Had no correlation to the outcome for the patient. In other words, these things did NOT impact the success or failure level of the client. Pretty shocking that experience and training didn’t matter, right?
That doesn’t mean that perhaps you wouldn’t feel more comfortable with a mental health professional of the same age or sex/gender as you and thus be more open and comfortable. And if that’s the case, by all means go right ahead. But in studies, it has shown a poor correlation.
What Does Impact How Good a Therapist is
That means that competency, the therapist’s well-being, and their expectation of the client are what affected the outcome. This makes sense if you think about it.
What is competence? It’s being good and effective at your job. A therapist has to have great communication skills and be good at what they do for you to feel like you can trust them and work with them.
Then well-being. If the mental health professional isn’t taking care of their own physical and mental health, how are they going to be strong enough to help others?
And client expectations? If they think their client is never going to get better and is a helpless cause, that’s going to translate into how they do their job.
So what does that mean for you?
It means to observe how your therapist acts and looks. Do they seem well-rested? In shape? Do they challenge you and believe in you? Are they remembering what you said? Does it seem like they’re actively listening to you?
Or,
Do they look stressed, agitated, rough? Maybe they seem distracted or negligent. Possibly ill-looking? Are they passive with your failures and successes? Then maybe they’re not the right one.
But please do not be mistaken. A large or sickly build does not equal a bad therapist. Some eye bags don’t either (most of us will have em due to long hours). Being heavier does not always equal being unhealthy.
What I’m trying to impress upon you is to see if the therapist seems to be taking care of themselves. As social service providers, we are taught that first, we need to take care of ourselves before we can do it for others.
So please do not mistake this as ignorance or judging somebody’s lifestyle.
You can also tell by how they act and carry themselves. So look for that as well if you’re suspicious. Usually, it won’t just be a physical thing that will indicate an unkempt therapist.
Also, be mindful of whether who you’re working with seems genuine, practices active listening, and wants to push you. That means they believe in you and care. You don’t want a therapist who sees no potential in you. Those suck!
The Therapeutic Alliance
On top of all this, it’s important to know that your relationship with your therapist and how well you get along does matter. You need to feel heard, respected, and supported.
If you’re with a mental health professional who is talking down to you, belittling you, making you uncomfortable, or shaming you, GET OUT! They are trash and you deserve better.
It’s also important to have compatible personalities. Luckily, the people I have worked with have matched my energy and vibe so it was easy to get along with them. We would even talk about things unrelated to my crippling mental illnesses (I guess it’s too late to put a trigger: dark humour tag, huh?).
If you are getting along with your therapist, find them competent in what they do, and know they are on top of their shit, then you may have just lucked out. I have to be honest, as someone who went through the system and will soon work in it; great therapists are not always easy to find.
But when you find them, it’s magic. Kinda like when you find the romantic partner of your dreams. Except maybe even more important to your health! (Or maybe not, who knows. I’m not a relationship blog.)
So that’s about it. I hope these guidelines help you to find a good fit for you so you can start your healing process. Is there anything I missed? Let me know in the comments what you think makes a good therapist!
All my love,
T
